Jenni Catron , Thanks, Jenni. It would be awesome for you to do the flip side of this coin. I love that.
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Wow, do I love that. I think I love that because I am well-loved, and that is where I learned to feel beautiful…. Your last woman is especially captivating, and alluring. Brilliant post. Kathleen Overby , Thanks, Kathleen. This is such an insightful post. It is so true! Caroline , Thanks, Caroline for your insights as well and for joining in! It seems wise to intentionally include 6 people into my social and professional world as much as possible. The 6 is obviously the result of a strong relationship, and are the kind of folks who will support and strengthen my own marriage.
Healthy people help other healthy people stay healthy. When I sailed to Kiniwata, an island in the Pacific, I took along a notebook. After I got back it was filled with descriptions of flora and fauna, native customs and costume. Shenkin was from Chicago and had a habit of Americanizing the names of the islanders.
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But Johnny was mentioned by many people in many connections. If I wanted to spend a few days on the neighboring island of Nurabandi, Johnny Lingo would put me up. If I wanted to fish he could show me where the biting was best. If it was pearls I sought, he would bring the best buys. The people of Kiniwata all spoke highly of Johnny Lingo.
Yet when they spoke they smiled, and the smiles were slightly mocking. A boy seated nearby hooted the name and rocked with laughter. Let me in on the joke. Five months ago, at fall festival, Johnny came to Kiniwata and found himself a wife. He paid her father eight cows! I knew enough about island customs to be impressed. Two or three cows would buy a fair-to-middling wife, four or five a highly satisfactory one. She must have beauty that takes your breath away. She was skinny. She walked with her shoulders hunched and her head ducked. She was scared of her own shadow.
They get special satisfaction from the fact that the sharpest trader in the islands was bested by dull old Sam Karoo. I wanted pearls. So the next afternoon I beached my boat at Nurabandi. And when I met the slim, serious young man, when he welcomed me with grace to his home, I was glad that from his own people he had respect unmingled with mockery.
We sat in his house and talked. They also say the marriage settlement was eight cows. And then I saw her. I watched her enter the room to place flowers on the table. She stood still a moment to smile at the young man beside me. Then she went swiftly out again. She was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
The lift of her shoulders, the tilt of her chin the sparkle of her eyes all spelled a pride to which no one could deny her the right. I turned back to Johnny Lingo and found him looking at me.
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Perhaps she does not look the way they say she looked in Kiniwata. I heard she was homely. They all make fun of you because you let yourself be cheated by Sam Karoo. But how can she be so different?
And then later, when the women talk, they boast of what their husbands paid for them. One says four cows, another maybe six. How does she feel, the woman who was sold for one or two? But I wanted more than that. You say she is different This is true.
Many things can change a woman. Things that happen inside, things that happen outside. But the thing that matters most is what she thinks about herself. In Kiniwata, Sarita believed she was worth nothing. Now she knows she is worth more than any other woman in the islands. I loved her and no other woman. Kathleen Overby , Oh my goodness! It even showed up in little things.
For instance, she wore old, outdated clothing while he looked like a million bucks. He was a glory boy for sure, and easily threatened.
Wish I had trusted the woman radar. This post offers a ton of wisdom that will save a lot of people from toxic situations. Emily , Yes.
In the church and corporate world. Thanks for your comment!! Unfortunately, people are afraid to look. Emily , It is definitely a lesson for us to look closer in the proper ways. Emily , i know, for me, simply feeling seen rather than invisible makes a world of difference. Randy, good topic.
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Not hatred or unhappiness, but sheer contempt. It goes beyond comfort. Working to see it is worth the effort. The look is the reward, too. Randy Cantrell , Thanks, Randy. Unfortunately, all too few wives have that look of bliss. May you and her tribe increase!!!! Wow, what a post!
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